This has been circulating in my head. A lot. Ok obsessively. If you identify with something but you’re diagnosed otherwise, is this ok?
Some of you lovely bloggers might have seen my blog about the diagnosis I got from the psychologist when I went for the Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) assessment two weeks back. I was told I was on the border of Aspergers after getting 32/50 on the AQ test but that Alexithymia, Sensory Processing Disorder & severe Social Anxiety were prevalent. I’m basically on the border looking in.
However, thanks to amazing bloggers such as Everyday Aspie, To Aspie or Not to Aspie, Emerging From The Dark Night & That Aspie Lady, I realised I have so much in common with them and can relate to so much of what they blog about.
I chatted with my partner (for about the sixth time) who’s heard me obsess about this for weeks.
When I say ‘obsess’ I mean get upset, get angry, keep asking questions & become agitated that numbers mean I can’t be who I think I am. He said ‘What does it mean if you were? What can you do to help yourself? If you identify with it, it can’t be wrong’. He’s very wise.
He’s also right. If I need to use the same Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) tactics for myself anyway, surely identifying with ASD/Aspergers would be ok?
I agree with him but I don’t want people further along the Spectrum to think I’m just saying it. I really genuinely feel that the number on the test doesn’t truly show the extent of me.
I’m obsessing. I apologise. I know I am. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m reading up on ASD, finding variations of traits, writing examples & sending to the psychologist, Googling, buying lots of books (Amazon are lucky to have me as a customer) & telling my partner for the millionth time all about it, despite him knowing the ins & outs.
It’s like I’m looking for permission from someone to say ‘It’s ok, your 32 counts for something. You are on the Spectrum.’
So, identity vs diagnosis? What are the thoughts? 💭